Pain Can Lead to Intimacy with God

Pain hurts. If we could avoid it I’m sure we all would. In the midst of my pain, it pushed me to my knees and deeper into searching for God.

In the hurt when it felt like no one understood, when I felt alone, I ran to my Heavenly Father. I sought Him for help, for refuge, for safety. When things were so beyond me, I clung to Him for comfort. 

There were days where I didn’t feel His presence or His comfort and those moments were really hard. But I kept going to Him. I’ve felt Him before, I knew He was listening. It sucked that He didn’t always show up in the way I wanted, but I chose to trust He was there and working in ways I may not understand at that moment.

It reminds me of this video I saw from John Bevere called “Abandoned”. The girl started to lose her sight and needed her dad’s help more than ever. And yet, this is when His presence was removed for reasons the girl did not see or understand until later. 

She felt abandoned at her weakest time. But the dad shares his perspective. He was always there, she just didn’t see him. He gave her room to discover who she really was. 

To discover that she was more courageous than she even knew. 

To discover for herself how beautiful she really was from the inside out. 

To discover how strong she really was. 

And to challenge herself in ways she would have never considered.

This is what God was doing for me in this season of pain. This season has challenged me in ways I didn’t think I could be, and pushed me to discover my identity in God and who I really am. I see that I am stronger than I even knew. God helped me to be more courageous and to start to stand up against my fears. 

The journey has not been easy and to be honest, I did feel abandoned. But there are moments that God reminds me that even though I have prayed and asked Him to remove all this and fix it, and was disappointed when He didn’t – He shows up in the fire with me.

I am trusting in what I cannot see. I am choosing to learn and grow from the pain. I still allow space to be honest with how I feel and not pretend that I’m happy to be in the midst of pain and suffering. I’m learning to bring those honest feelings to God. 

I trust He is working behind the scenes. I’m grateful for the beautiful moments I have that God reminds me He is there. Although it may feel rare, it has become a treasure I hold onto. 

So even though I may not choose pain, I understand how it can draw us deeper into God and into becoming who He calls us to be.