No one really talks about the struggles of your first few years as a new Christian. Old things are being removed, new things are coming in and you’re trying to make sense of everything and do the best that you can while honoring God.
Below are some of the things I struggled with and am still navigating as I became a Christian.
1. Understanding Your New Identity
It feels like a loss of identity – which it is. You were one person, and now God is in you and helping you discover truth to become a better person, a better you.
But it’s hard. You’re trying to re-discover yourself.
It’s not something that is forced, but God starts opening your eyes to things and your heart starts changing.
Learning your style and what you like to wear. Because maybe what you used to wear is not appropriate and not reflective of who you are now.
What to watch and listen to. Because you now recognize that what you watched and listened to before is not good for you.
What you like to do. Because you used to do things that were also not good for you and that’s not who you want to be anymore.
You are learning who you are and your new identity in Christ. This takes time. Discovering, learning, making mistakes, etc.
2. Prioritizing Self-Awareness
I’ve been more seriously walking with God for about 4 years now and I feel like I’m still navigating all of this. I tried to jump in and dive into doing things for God, but He slowed me down to first know Him and then to know myself. I tried to fight it, but He knew it was important and put me in a position to be able to discover who I am.
In this current season of rest I am in, I’ve had so much time to sit with myself and have become so aware of myself and my thoughts and I’ve had more time on my hands than I was used to. For a while I didn’t know what to do and I just sat through each day because I was so used to being told what my day was going to look like whether through work or groups I was involved in. But now I could choose to do what I liked, but I didn’t even know what I liked.
What I discovered is that out of boredom and stillness birthed creativity and exploring new activities. Some I didn’t like but others surprised me and I did enjoy. I’m still learning and discovering each day, and some days I feel frustrated because I may not feel confident about something because I don’t know how I feel about it – and that’s okay. I don’t have to know where I stand on everything right this second.
3. Rediscovering Yourself
It can feel uncomfortable trying to learn about yourself and hard to convey to others. Some may know you one way and then you change and they have a learning curve to adjust to the new you, just as you are trying to accept this new you and love her.
Then you have new people you meet and you aren’t sure who you are and you try to be the ‘right version of you’ but you still don’t know the ‘real version of you’.
My advice is to be patient with yourself and take the time to rediscover who you are. And to know it’s okay to change your mind on something and to make mistakes. And to allow the Lord to lead you to people and friends who will be patient and understanding as you navigate this new space. And don’t worry if you are years in and confused why you are still going through this. It truly takes time.
Advice to the Friends
If you’re a more veteran believer, please show your friends who are in this season grace. They are trying to do the right thing to honor God – with what they wear, what they watch, what they listen to, the way they speak, etc.
Sometimes this can come across like they are being too strict or “religious”. From my experience, debating them or shutting them down is not helpful. When I was given space to explore, and try things and later change my mind and see that it was okay to change my mind or to let God give me convictions as I build my relationship with Him rather than being shut down of how I’m doing things wrong, that helped me so much.
Encourage them and accept them and share your testimonies. Allow the Holy Spirit to help you discern, but they need grace and love and the space to discover. Help them know you aren’t gonna leave as they mess up or change and that it’s okay. Continue to point them back to Christ and pray for them.
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