3 Tools to Help You Overcome Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are the worst. They do just that – intrude. They are unwanted, and try to stir your emotions, cause you to fear, doubt, feel shame, confusion, etc. This has been a life long battle for me. One that I am now learning to face and starting to confront.

As believers, we are given the greatest tool, the Bible, which is the word of God, the truth. Sometimes the reason the thoughts are bothering us so much is because they feel true. On my journey with the Lord, I’ve grown to learn that not every thought is my thought. That’s why it’s important to observe them. So we can differentiate what is true and what isn’t and throw away the lies.

Not every thought is your thought.

I used to push them off and try to find distractions to keep my mind away from the negative and unwanted thoughts. This worked for a bit, but would be temporary, until it would circle back around later on. And I’d be pulled right back into a cycle of fear and anxiety until the next distraction. 

The goal is to renew our minds to replace the lies and untangle the thought patterns that were built incorrectly and build upon a new and strong foundation on the word of God. Yes, we can rebuke thoughts and cast them down, and at times this can work for people. I will admit that I have tried this and became frustrated because the thoughts would still come back. 

I wondered if my faith wasn’t strong enough, if I wasn’t speaking with enough authority, etc. But for my situation, and for possibly many others, there is a stronghold that needs to be dealt with. 

Below I want to share some of the tools I am learning to start untangle the lies and confront these intrusive thoughts. I am still a work in progress and have days of victories and days of wrestling.

Do I pray the Lord would remove this completely from me? Yes, often. Do I believe He can? Yes, of course. But He is having me walk through this and do the work so I am choosing to push forward with that and trust Him.

These are a combination of tools that I learned in Christian Therapy and ideas that I started doing on my own that have genuinely helped me. I hope it helps you. I am not an expert, but I just want to share my experience and resources to encourage and help others who may be going through this as well. 

1. The ‘Why’ Method

• I’m not sure if this is being used already out there, but it’s something I randomly started doing in one of my journaling sessions that helped me get to the root of the fear that was overwhelming me.
  • What to do: Journal the intrusive thought you have and how it is making you feel and then ask yourself why (why is it bothering you, why are you feeling that way, etc). And after each sentence, continue to ask yourself the why questions to prompt your writing further and continue until you feel you are at a good place to stop and ponder what you wrote.

Example: There’s a thought that someone wants to hurt me. Why is it bothering me? Because I’m afraid that it’s true and someone is going to hurt me. Why do I think that it’s true? Because the feeling is so strong and I’ve had dreams about it. Why am I having dreams about it? I don’t know, it seems like a spiritual attack because I am making progress in therapy and this is causing so much of a distraction from the good that is taking place. Why am I afraid? Because it happened before, someone hurt me and I don’t want it to happen again. So I’ve been taking the thought as truth so I can make sure to protect myself in case it does happen.

[Side Note: I learned in Inside Out 2 – you should watch it if you haven’t – that anxiety starts off as what looks like your brain trying to protect you. So you slowly start allowing it to lead your decisions to keep yourself or others safe. But the root of the protection or your decisions are led by fear. And it’s important to note that when you are led by fear, you are not being led by the Holy Spirit.]

2. Differentiating God’s voice from the enemy’s voice

• How does God speak to you? How do you know when it’s God’s voice? How do you know when it’s the enemy’s voice?
  • God speaks to me through His word. When I have Bible Study or am spending my quiet time reading the Bible and studying, things will jump off the page. It aligns with the word and it bears fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control). Even when there’s something I need to be convicted about, it’s still brought in love and not fear or shame.
  • The enemy’s voice brings fear, doubt, confusion, and is intrusive.

Example 1: I was spending my morning quiet time in a workbook I was doing as a part of a Bible Study group. The topic was focused on showing love to others.

It said, “The person who is growing in Christ will have an ever-increasing ability to love others and be able to love without placing conditions on our love.” Then it followed with a reflection question “Who do you have a difficult time loving and why?” My brother came to mind. At the time, I was struggling to show kindness to him because I had felt hurt and felt like I was on the receiving end of his sharpness and anger and wanted to pull away and react negatively towards him. Then it said, “Read 1 John 4:20, what does it mean to love your brother, how is it done in practical, day-to day terms?”I know it was referring to brother in Christ, but it seemed to fit with my actual brother. So I genuinely reflected and what came to mind was I wanted him to change and apologize, but the reading was teaching about loving unconditionally. And then a thought popped up about buying him something to encourage him. This thought was selfless, and rooted in God’s love. Did I feel that I wanted to do it initially because it felt good, no. But it did bring peace as I started to reflect that maybe he has other things going on and the fruit of it would bring joy to someone else. That’s how I knew it was God’s voice.

Example 2: I was going to hang out with friends and a thought popped up – you shouldn’t go, it’s not safe, you can’t trust some of them. This caused fear. I was excited to go do something fun and this was more of an intrusive thought. It caused me to pause as I would question, Wait, is it not safe? Can I not trust them? And then the spiral hit– is there something I need to be aware of? Should I make an excuse so I don’t have to go? I need to protect myself. This subtle whisper that felt like my thought, or that could’ve been confused with a gut feeling trying to warn me of something, was not the Holy Spirit. It brought fear, skepticism, doubt, confusion, etc. When I step back after writing and reflecting on it, I can see that clear as day. In the moment, it feels so loud and can cloud your judgment because there’s the potential that this is true and emotions are heightened and try to take over. There was no fruit in this.

3. 4 Questions to examine your thoughts

The below is pulled from the book “A Still and Quiet Mind” by Esther Smith. Highly recommended and can be found here.

1. Is this thought true?
   • We can assess if a thought is true by seeing if it aligns with scripture.
     • Unwanted thoughts about our identity pull us into despair (I am worthless).
     • False predictions about the future and inaccurate assumptions about other people enslave us to anxiety (I’m going to fail. She must hate me).
     • Wrong beliefs about God and our standing in the world leave us wallowing in hopelessness (God must not care that I am suffering. People would be better off without me).  
2. Is this thought helpful?
   • It’s not enough to think thoughts that are true. We have to apply wisdom and sensibility to our true thoughts by thinking them at the proper time in the proper context and with the proper motive.
     • It may be true that you have a meeting tomorrow, but the middle of the night probably isn’t a helpful time to ruminate on what you will say.
     • It may be true that you struggle with sin, but it likely won’t be helpful to think about your sin nature over and over again when you are feeling depressed.
3. Is this thought appropriate to my situation?
   • When a difficult thought arises, we should also remember that our ultimate goal is not necessarily to make our thoughts more positive. It can be appropriate and biblical to think sad, negative, unpleasant, angry or fearful thoughts. Our thoughts should appropriately reflect our circumstances.
     • If a bear is chasing you in the forest, you will hopefully and appropriately have thoughts filled with fear. Those fearful thoughts may keep you alive.
     • If you are facing extreme trials in life, it will often be more appropriate for you to let your thoughts wander toward cries of lament than to force your mind toward positivity.
4. Is this thought complete?
   • Sometimes we assess a thought and find that it checks all the boxes and is indeed true, helpful, and appropriate, but our examination should not end there.
     • One reason we need this question is because we sometimes begin to think that half the truth represents the whole truth. Yes, it’s true you are suffering, but what truth about God might be helpful for you to hold beside your pain?
     • Yes, this situation is hard and God is faithful, is true, helpful and appropriate and offers us a more complete perspective.

I hope these tools help you on your journey to overcome intrusive thoughts. Remember you are not alone, and to ask for help and accountability when you need it.